Sunday, October 08, 2006

Busy, Busy, Busy

Sorry I haven't had time to post but I've been so busy lately. First off I'm in love (or at least I'm in love with the idea of being love so I'm dating some poor schmuck that doesn't know what he's in for).

Also I had to go out and start the second leg of "the great book-whore tour" to promote my latest piece of shit called "Haters". The last book did so bad that my publisher wants me hustle this time. I guess they are right, I really jaked it on that last book and it showed in the sales figures.

But not matter what they tell me, no matter how much it hurts sales I sure as hell am not going to stop criticizing our Nazi president and his genocidal war against innocent Iraqi civilians that were very happy with their mustachioed dictator and his rape rooms, thank you very much!

That's why I'm happy to announce the fact that my father pulled a few strings for me and got me a job teaching at UNM (I mean what good is it to work as an intelligence agent for Castro's Cuba if you can't get your daughter a part-time gig?).

Anywho, girls now I'll be able to express my anti-American sentiments and shape the next generation of trashy fiction authors while getting PAID. And it's all about getting paid, never forget that Chicas: getting paid and Kate Spade!

So if I haven't been around to hold your hand through all your loser problems like your abusive boyfriends, your unwanted pregnancies or your loneliness because you are 2oo lbs overweight and live vicariously through me and my books, you'll just have to (in best Steve Martin voice) EXCUUUUUSE MEEEE!

Later Chicas.

Don't forget to go out there and buy my fucking book.

NOW!

Hugs,

Not Alisa

1 comment:

La gorda said...

finally!