Friday, August 25, 2006

I don't love Fidel Castro I swear!

You know what really pisses me off is when those Miami stalker parody bloggers say I love Fidel Castro. They are so obviously full of shit. If they bothered to do a little research on me they'd know that I have denounced Cuba in a column I wrote when I went there for a music festival. My criticism of the atrocities of the Castro regime was scathing and that's why I was told I'd never be permitted in the country again. If you read that column you'll see that I clearly documented the following:
  • That I was groped by two different men on the same day
  • That I was flashed by a third man
  • That the police I complained to did nothing
  • That I was told I should not wear shorts if I didn't want to be bothered
  • That I was mentally undressed by one of the officers
  • That Cuban boys are cruel crab murderers
  • That I was served breakfast cereal with cockroaches in it
  • That Cuban film eqipment is ancient and huge
  • That the dogs in Cuba are sad and short-legged
  • That most Cubans have no idea who Woody Harrelson is
  • That the air in Havana is filthy and smells like a jar of Vaseline
I mean what else is there to say? Nothing bitches because I said it all. Cuba is a really really bad place because of all of these reasons. So listen psycho Miami stalker types get off my case, I HAVE DENOUNCED CUBA! Happy now?


Absolutely NOT Alisa


Anonymous said...

Yeah, and your point is?

Anonymous said...

Her point is, Cuba is a bad place chiefly because it's indifferent to HER consumer needs! Its lousy product-placement weather patterns - those fuckers were trying to sell her a jar of Vaseline, dammit! - are HOW Cuba is awful when its HER vacation on her time (well, really her racist employer's) that necessarily must be perfect. She got BAD customer service in Cuba, substandard room service, sex harassment and other suburban blights while in Cuba, making her furious, same as a bad cruise ship tour!

As for the suffering of the Cuban people, the oppression they live under, the monstrous reasons for the indifference to human suffering on all levels, well, that's something for those goddam Miami Cuban Nazis to worry about!

Where are her consumer comforts! That's her real beef about the problem of Cuba.

(She's lying, by the way, about not being allowed back in Cuba, it's that communist hospitality that's really keeping her away. But by saying she's banned from Cuba, she's making a bid to claim she too is a dissident. Well, she's not, she's only an angry consumer who probably wants a refund.