Wednesday, July 05, 2006

A note to those goddam Mexicans in the North Valley of Elephant Butte...

Uh, dudes? The fourth (cough, cough!) is over. You can now stop blowing up the goddam bottle rockets, firecrackers, Catherine wheels, sparklers, cherry bombs, and the rest of that shit you get in hellholes I'd never set foot in, like Nogales. I'm sure there's something on TV you would like to watch. If not, then just ask my fucking Guadalupe-worshipping maid who'll know.

Can you believe these Mexican assholes? It's not so much the noise that bothers me, but the fact that these fuckers are celebrating the Fourth of July. All that red white and blue shit. Instead of the sophisticated holidays I celebrate, like 26 de julio. Or at least some damn Aztlan thing they can make up and call a holiday! But nnnnnooooo! They want to celebrate the Fourth, in that goddam ear-splitting Mexican way of theirs! How stupid can one get? How downscale! Like they don't realize it's an imperialist, oligarchic, capitalist bacchanalia! These goddam North Valley Mexicans actually celebrate this red white and Wal-Mart shit instead of retch over it like I do.

I got news for you, you goddam Mexicans, you're supposed to celebrate Cinco de Mayo! As is done in Mexico!

Don't I just know everything?

abrazos,

Not Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

damn, I didn't know you celebrated my wedding anniversary (26 de julio), I'm flattered!

Anonymous said...

I'm not a fan of the author this blog satirizes at all, but I had to say that there's something twisted and pathetic about your spending so much time monitoring her every post, reading between every word (never mind the lines, and concocting these over-the-top responses.

Whatever disdain you have for Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez's politics, at least she publicly stands by her opinions so she can face whatever agreements or challenges other may have about them. Yes, sometime she is egotistical and mean-spirited in her communications, but then again, she's not hiding from the responses to it. Meanwhile, you anonymously skewer her.

I don't know what motivated you to do this, but it's juvenile and cowardly. Of course, you have a right to do it, but that doesn't render this activity a meaningful or positive use of your time and energy never mind the impact it has on your "moral account." Yes, you're anonymous, but God knows, and He will remember.

Not Dolores Huerta

Anonymous said...

But everybody is anonymous on this site, that's what makes it great!

Besides, if people can have sites like Walmartsucks, etc., why can't people take on other people?

Have some fun not Dolores!

Cindy Sheehan said...

La reina dirty has done some investigative work

Cuban American neocons team up with the dreaded HALIBURTON to divvy up a post Castro Cuba in secretive business deals that will invade the island with the following:

1. Car dealerships
2. Starbucks coffee houses (200 planned for Havana!)
3. Multiplex movie houses
4. Gambling casinos one in every city and town
5. 300 new prison complexs around the island
6. Fast food franchises like Burger King (a Miami company btw), McDonalds, TacoBell, Pizza Hut.
7. Super sized brothels that are a combination health club, Club Med, and Las Vegas hotel.
8. Extentions of runways and new buildings for every Cuban airport TO BRING MORE TOURISTS.
9. Fundamentalist mega church complexes
10. Jinetera and jinetero schools

The Cuban Americans and HALIBURTON executives also plan to close 3/4 of the free hospitals and schools created during the revolution as a cost savings measure. In their place, the neocons plan to build pay as you go dollar clinics to generate revenue. Manny "el maton" Ramirez, a CANF and HALIBURTON executive said the following mean spirited statement.

"My political mentor was Ronald Reagan and some Germans which I will not mention in order not to offend our Jewish employees, so I think that Cubans living on the island need to be less dependent on the handouts they were always accustom to and instead of living with a welfare mentality, they need to acquire some personal responsibilities and fiscal sense."

Aside from rolling back Fidel Castro's wonderful and unique advances in social welfare [social welfare programs that the USA would do good to emulate], the repellant and nefarious Miami Mafia, also, plans to bring back segregation to a post-Castro Cuba. However, understanding that in today's social climate where racism is not tolerated, they will do so on the backslide. One way to achieve this is to open up BIG FIVE CLUBS all throughout the island. These BFCs on the outside will appear to be social clubs of the most innocuous nature, but in reality, like their present-day Miami counterparts, they will only allow those families of the purest white castilian ancestry to join, preferably those who can trace their ancestry back to Torquemada's Inquistion. However, some non-Spaniards will be allowed to join, preferably, anyone who can prove that his grandfather or great-grandfather was a Nazi, or if non-German, i.e. Eastern European ancestry, only thoses whose family were involved in organizing pogroms, or out of South Africa and Rhodesia, anyone who can proof that they fought to uphold the principles of Apartheid.

Once in place, these Chapters of the BFC will create all-white enclaves [much like Cubans have done in Miami]

Anonymous said...

Look Ms. Not Alisa,

I lite firecrackers all year 'round because you can get firecrackers in New Mexico all year 'round, and you have never said nothing before. Remember that time before you read from your last book (which I still haven't read) at the park, and I lit up some Blackcats as you walked on stage? You didn't complain then. What's up with that? I tell you...since you became an almost Pulitzer-winning, best selling, widely-quoted author, you've changed, man. You've changed. Your books don't even sell anymore.

Not The Firecracker Launcher