Thursday, May 11, 2006

Thick as thieves

Women authors need to stick together! What's a little plagiarism, between friends? Such an ugly word, and it's nothing but a white man's term to keep a strong women down.

That's what's happening right now with this CRUCIFIXION of a poor Harvard-American teen-sensation novelist who lifted passages from two other other chick lit novels to sell her her own horseshit books. It's a travesty.

In our club, writers ought to be able to copy each other since all chick lit novels are essentially the same anyway. I mean who the fuck do we think we are kidding? How could anyone tell the difference? Why should this poor Harvard-American teen, Kaaaavya Viswaviswanathan, be singled out?

This isn't a journalistic ethics class, it's real life dammit. And a girl's got to go shopping at Neiman Marcus. A girl's got to get to Starbucks for her venti mocha iced soy vanilla frappuccino! Who do these white males think they are, demanding that we do original work? We're upscale. We have needs! So they need to shut the fuck up and mind your own business whitey.

This poor soul was singled out because she had brown skin, proving existence of RACISM of the book publishing industry, especially since they found some fucking white victim named Megan, are you paying attention to this, St. Martin's? They didn't want a brown-skinned, strong woman to have money! So they singled her out for plagiarism. It's so fucking ludicrous!

Honey, we all have to sell, sell, sell books. Visnavisnathan is mi gente. We are both elite Ivy Leaguers, after all, just trying to get by in a racist, sexist, capitalist society full of evil right wingers. WE are the victims of people like that fucking troll Lou Dobbs! And in my special case, the goddam Miami Cuban mafia. Can anyone blame us for that? And I went to the PRESTIGIOUS Berklee College of Music in Boston, just like the Dixie Chicks, besides. Which is quite the coincidence since that's what they are trying to do to Vishnuvishnavalerie, they are trying to Dixie Chick her.

Which brings me to the real point. My Amazon numbers are up, but not in the top ten like Visnavisnawan's are! I smell a rat. I broke past the 3000 barrier yesterday when the New York Daily News, a downscale, bridge and tunnel tabloid inaccurately described my totally fictional portrayal of J-Lo in no less than five times! Girls, I have shopping trips to pay for, so get your mouse to amazon now.

This all part of a plot against me. I was recently featured on Power 105 FM radio, and girls, I found out that Clear Channel, which owns that station, is the same outfit that broadcast Rush Limbaugh in a lot of markets. Ugh! And not just that fatass loudmouth liar, but Dr. Laura too! This is sick. This evil radio network organized PRO-WAR protests, and is bankrolled by the rightwing military-industrial establishment. That's the real reason why my books aren't selling. There is the appearance of publicity but none of the positive effects of publicity. I am getting sick of this whole mess.

Buy my damn book.

abrazos y besos,
Not Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez

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