Sunday, April 30, 2006

L.A.: Returning to the scene of the crime.

So I'm in LA for the LA Times Festival of Books. For those of you who aren't familiar with my history, I worked for the LA times before I had a huge meltdown and wrote a 3,400-word resignation letter where I basically blasted my employers and my colleagues and proved once and for all that I'm the craziest bitch that ever was.

Oh how the world has changed since I was the journalism pariah. Now as Dave Chapelle might say "I'm rich, bitch!" Today I'm a best selling author and one of Time Magazine's 25 most influential Hispanics.

I tried to get another reporting gig but nobody would have me. I even wrote a long rambling "apology" where I blamed it all on hormones but they didn't fall for that lame-ass argument.

Then I decided to write fiction after was blackballed from the newspaper business because I wouldn't have to work with people who have less of an education than me yet make more money. They call it a meritocracy but I call it bullshit. Anyway writing "fiction" allows me to attack my enemies by making them "fictional" characters in my books. But they know who they are. Hell, I'll even tell you who they are. The best thing is they can't sue me. You hear that Lydia Martin?

Anyway, here I am! The conquering hero. Who says you can't come home again?


not Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez

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